Today is a new day I am writing on the blog again.:-) I am really excited about trying to figure things out.:-) I really got frustrated trying to get my blog setup the way I wanted it, but then I realized I need to let that go, and just write. I love writing, and I love the idea of something I write helping others, so here's the deal I am going to make myself:
. I will write just to write.
. I will not get hung up on the finite details of what the blog looks like, and work on it a little at a time.
. I will educate myself on proper blog etiquette so that I have a well written well thought out blog.

I am looking forward to working out all of this and making a place to share my feelings, thoughts, ideas.
in completing my last blog entry I realized something about myself with the help of my Auntie Ruby as we were talking over life situations and discussing how life had brought me to stay with her for a while to get enough money together to get back to Utah I realized that even though someone offers assistance and wants to help I have found that I still felt guilty just for basically existing this burden I have carried around for heaven knows how long and they are like tacs digging into my spirit and I keep them their instead of removing them. so when it rained last night I gave those tacs of guilt inadequacy and unworthiness to the rain to wash away and buried them in the ground to bury them forever never to return:

I choose...
to live by choice, not by chance;
to make changes, not excuses;
to be motivated, not manipulated;
to be useful, not used;
to excel, not compete.
I choose self-esteem, not self pity.
I choose to listen to my inner voice,
not the random opinion of others.

so I was looking at my blog and realized I haven't posted anything in about 2 years!! can you say SLACKER! and the sad thing is is I wanted to tell everyone how awesome these last few years have been it just seemed so inconsequential after so long of an absence. nevertheless I will give you a recap. I have four new baby's in the family all cousins. I have two years of schooling done just hit 60 percent finished towards my major of Paralegal studies. no boyfriend :( but I think that has more o do with me not getting out very often than it does with me(at least that is what I keep telling myself).

My Dear Bumpa with that infectious smile. left us on January 25, 2011 saddest thing to ever happen to me in my life. somehow though I feel him with me and I am eternally grateful for that everyday.

needless to say the years have had some pretty big milestones for me and I have learned so much about myself and about myself as a student. I am grateful for those things that make me me and teach me what I want to become.
so I have had a few scary things happen lately my grandpa was put in the hospital and told he needs valve reconstruction on his aortic valve! I have had bronchitis and been told I need to see a doctor for some things that are troubling as of late! I write these things down because despite those scary thing I am still so incredibly blessed. I not only have my amazing family including my mom who is nothing but supportive, I have friends and their families who view me as family too! my friend Suzanne and her husband Jason who I call Bro. took me to the ER at 1 in the morning. I found out I had almost waited to long and my infection had almost become pneumonia which could have been very bad. the whole reason I went was because Jason's dad say Sasha Hun that sounds really bad you could already have Pneumonia you need to go to the ER tonight! so Jason and Suz took me. they are incredibly supportive and always there when I need a shoulder. I am so grateful for my adoptive parents Deb and Tim Whalen and Margo and David Vick for being adoptive families that are always ready to welcome me into their homes and accept me.
So my Dear Friend Suzanne has the greatest family! her, her husband Jason and her son Riley have been a big support group for me! I love them dearly! they are very excepting and they are always there for me whether it be talking out a problem or just taking me out to a movie when I am sad or just cause. I love them and so I took some random pics of them and me here goes...........................

Suz has an Amazing Smile!

he wasn't really but this shows his personality he is a goof~

I was trying to make this face and I just couldn't do it his Eyebrows are crazy!!

I love this picture!

and Riley well he is a character......

I love this kid!!

his first ride with me in his big boy chair!!!

that fist he loves that fist!!

that is all I have to say for now!
So I recently made a huge decision! I am going back to school! and while I am super excited! I am also very very Nervous! I am writing this because anyone who would comment is someone who's opinion's and suggestion's I Respect and Need right now! I would love to hear anything that could help this transition be smoother/easier just anything you would view helpful!

also.......... here are some things that are new.
I got my patriarchal Blessing!
Mom moved back to Utah (the world is right again)
then here are some recent and not so recent pictures and just funnies to show since it's been forever I suppose I need to make up for lost time!
this is a scrapbook of my Friend Denise's going away Party!

Click to play this Smilebox scrapbook: Denise we Missed you!
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Today I was a part of History! Today 18000 people got together to Celebrate the Festival of Colors! it was hosted by the Hare Krishna Temple in Spanish Fork and it seemed like a truly bonded group of people it was so fun to see the cloud of colors surrounding us and you look pretty cool after your done too! I went with my friends Amanda and Jenean! They are great Girls and I just Love them!